What's in a Name?

The most recently publicized mass murder by a heavily armed lunatic took place in a Sikh temple in Wisconsin. The murdered murderer, it develops, was known to the FBI as one of these white supremacists who strive to establish their intrinsic superiority by behaving like enraged hyenas with assault weapons. Unsurprisingly, news reports surfaced almost immediately with whatever was known or believed, namely that there had been a shooting in a Sikh temple.
I first heard about this episode on Public Radio. An excitable young man was breathlessly describing the situation in the Sick temple, interviewing members of the Sick community, including a Sick man who briefly outlined Sick beliefs and so forth. As he carried on in this rather long tale, referring to Sick this and Sick that I cringed, wondering if National Public Radio had really sunk so low that there was nobody within earshot of the newsroom who knew how to pronounce the name of this respectably well-known and widespread religion.
It seemed to me, though, that this had all the earmarks of the common practice of expressing contempt through mispronunciation. To refer to these people as Sicks is to dismiss them as insignificant, not worth the minute effort it would take to broaden the “i” into the term they use to describe themselves. I expect that if you suggested to the eager young reporter that the word should be “Seek” rather than “Sick,” he would roll his eyes and reply “What-Ever.”
The same technique is used by certain right-wing windbags who refer to the president as “Obaama.” There is no shortage of broadcast journalists and commentators who speak his name as he does himself, and again it would take no effort worth mentioning to broaden the “a” into “Obahma,” but again, the sneering speakers are making a point which is that President Obama is not worthy of the simple courtesy of remembering his name.
But shortening vowels is not the only way a name can be used as an insult. Just changing it a little will also do the trick.
There is a plumber who comes to clean my furnace once a year. He is a short, dark, Bosnian muslim named Hamdi. Last year when I phoned to get an appointment, the dispatcher named a date and told me Hans would be there first thing. Naturally, I assumed this was Hamdi's replacement, Hamdi himself having been promoted or sacked or relocated. However, it turned out that Hans was actually Hamdi repackaged. The dispatcher was unable to remember or pronounce his actual name so she decided on Hans as a suitable replacement, being, on the one hand, foreign, but at the same time acceptably blond.
I am especially sensitive to this sort of slight since I have spent all of my adult life trying to convince the world at large to call me Deborah rather than Debby which latter I tolerated up through grammar school since it was suitable for that time. The name evokes a cute freckle-faced moppet with pigtails, which fairly well describes me as a very young thing. I was undeniably cute.
At first I thought the rush toward Debby in my later life, well after I had given up pigtails, was a result of everybody and their dog having a niece or a babysitter named Debby and being unable to heave themselves out of that rut. I finally figured out that people who insisted on insulting me with this designation were people who wanted to diminish me for one reason or another. People who saw me as competition, for example, or struggling little junior executives making sure that I knew I was inferior. Or people who just simply disliked me.
Eventually I stopped being irate when this happened and started using it as a sort of litmus test that indicated fairly accurately whom I could or could not trust. In short, Sicks or Obaama or Hans or Debby are just another way of calling the target an asshole without actually offending the public sensibility. It is a deniable way of offending the target while maintaining a “golly, I had no idea!” wide-eyed innocence.
So next time your boss or colleague or some semi-stranger calls you Sweety or Stud or some diminutive of your actual name, sit up and pay attention. This is not your friend. Secure your wallet and run.